T-97, Al-Malik

“I love mks” she gushed while hugging me tight. I looked down and saw tiny eyes looking back, pure, innocent and hopeful.

It was a sad day today at work as one of us continued to pursue their dreams. This led to the unintended transfer of my sidekick who was appointed to another class. This left me feeling broken. I wasn’t given the chance to defend why I need her by my side (they decided without me as I left the meeting early last 2 weeks) especially with so many changes in life right now. Just a tiny bit of stability in life is all I ask for. But I smiled away anyway and prayed for more strength. There is hikmah. InshaAllah.

As I flipped through the Asmaul Husna book to find strength and solace in His names, I found out that today, it is Al-Malik. Have a read of how the ‘abd of Al-Malik should uphold themselves:

This is such a good reminder how nothing truly belongs to us. My precious sidekick, she is not mine. It happened again in the evening as I bade farewell to 2 of my favourite people in life. Haz and Athirah will be away for at least 4 months and I can’t help but to recall about Al-Malik. Friends…they are also temporary blessings in life.

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As the day concluded….someone asked a relevant BTB (bride to be) question:

I was asked how did I know if the guy is the right one?

I don’t.

Even if you get to know him and dated him for so long, people will always change. Even if you live under the same roof, we as humans, will continue to change.

I was tired after walking around Jewel and Terminal 1 so my answer to her were these:

• I felt tranquility after numerous istikharahs last Ramadhan
• Allah eased the process between our families (there are hiccups but that’s only because change is inevitable.)
• The fact that both parents gave their blessings, I felt that it was right.
• He might not have what I want (or what society wants me to think that I want) but as days pass by, he checks all the things that I actually need (or what Allah knows I need). We need to think long term. We need an imam, a leader a father for our future children (bi iznillah).
• Our goals, preference on how to conduct the taaruf and engagement period, are aligned (I personally know a sister who broke off her engagement because the other party thinks she’s too strict in their relationship. May she find the man who truly preserves Allah’s deen, just like how she preserves Allah’s deen)
• I can’t find anyone else that I’d rather spend my life and beyond, with

Did my research through his friends, family and social media accounts. Not 100% accurate but it’s enough for me to feel at peace with the choice. I’m still nervous but a confident kind of nervous now. Whatever that means. :’)

Always, always remember the intention of wanting to get married. That will anchor us should we doubt ourselves.

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I love unplanned things and when you actually synchronize, the feeling’s ohsem. Like today, sahabat and I covered An-Naba’. Indescribable. ❤ Please make doa for us. @Maryam, please send your prayers and motivation ❤