N was busy giggling with the other ladies while I sat with my six-month-old baby in front of me, pretending to be occupied. We were at an all-ladies gathering, reminiscing and catching up on each other’s lives. I tried to tune in to their conversation, hoping to find a way to fit in—just like I had always done back in our secondary school days.
One of them was sharing about her new relationship. I hesitated for a moment, then chimed in, choosing my words carefully. “Oh, are you in the ta’aruf stage now?” I asked, thinking it was a natural and appropriate way to put it.
Laughter erupted around me—loud, amused, almost pitiful. A few exchanged knowing glances, their eyes filled with something I couldn’t quite place. Was I outdated? Had I always been?
I glanced down at my baby, swallowing the familiar feeling of not belonging. I had spent years chasing ideals, striving to live by the values set by our religion, only to be met with laughter from my own Muslimah friends.
I never found true friendship in the madrasah. The bonds there felt shallow, tied more to routine than to sincerity. But in the mosque, I found companionship in its truest sense. When theory turned into action, when we traveled together to recite and reflect on Allah’s verses, that filled the emptiness. That pushed me through the negativity—through the days when trends seemed so inviting, so fun, and I felt so alone.
Today, more than ten years have passed, and before me are the greatest blessings Allah has given me—a little boy named Hadif, a little girl named Afaf, and above all, the strongest defender of this deen in my eyes, my husband.
“It’s okay, my dear children,” I whispered softly, hugging them close. “The world may chase after trends and may look at you like an outsider. But we will call out to them. We will try our best to please Allah.”
Yes, amar ma’ruf nahi munkar is difficult. No one likes to be reminded of what is right. Standing your ground, resisting worldly desires—it is a struggle. But we try, and we pray.
May Allah guide us all.
Diarinsyirah 