A Timeline: 2nd Birth Story (Raw)

Bismillah here goes my 2nd birth story.

26 Nov 2022

7.30am: walked from our place to in laws’ to fetch Hadif for swimming

8am: Swim (love itttt. Really made me feel so light)

10am: Brunch at Marsiling Mall

11am: qailulah

2.30pm: Lunch, zuhur

4pm: Travel to airport to see yayi and Tok Ha

5pm: Arrived at terminal 3, did asar

6pm: Dinner, TP tea bubble tea ❤️

7.30pm: Renewed my wudhu but suddenly, I saw blood. My heart skipped a beat. Is this it? With Hadif, it took me about 5 days of bloody show before I felt any real contractions. But this felt different. My movements during maghrib prayer were slow and I paused every time I felt contractions.

8.30pm: I used an app (contraction timer) to time my contractions. The result confirmed that I was in the early stage of labour. 1 min contractions, 4 to 5 mins interval, consistently for 1 hour. We decided to call it a day and took the taxi home.

9.15pm: We alerted my in laws of the progress and then my father in law and sister in law came and brought Hadif to their place. ❤️ (Only Allah can repay their kindness)

We did isyak then tried to labour in our room. It was so calm, I really felt like sleeping but contractions were so intense, I just couldn’t sleep. So we decided to labour around the KKH compound based on the contractions and to avoid giving birth along the way.

10.50pm: Nabilah and Irfan (Jazakumullah kheyr 🤲) drove us to KKH.

Tears rolled down with each contraction. But internally, I was happy, I felt confident that the dilation was probably beyond 4cm because during my first delivery, the contractions were less intense while we travelled to the hospital.

Upon reaching, I tried to walk around the pond at the basement but oh boy, I could barely walk. So we decided to get my dilation checked. Bismillah!

11.30pm: Check in at Triage.

Dilation was 2 to 3cm. I was honestly disappointed. I even begged the nurse to let me go home because from my limited first experience 2 years ago, I was stuck at 4cm for ages!

27 Nov 2022

12.30am: but nope. Doctor advised against it as contractions were regular and strong.

Tears welled up and I declined to be wheeled into the delivery suite. I tried to salvage what little freedom I had left to move freely before being bounded to the bed.

Changed into their birth uniform.

Dimmed the lights.

Set up my labour playlist (first 2 pages of Surah Maryam, Surah Ar-Rahman, Asmaul Husna, Saiyyidul Istighfar and Maher Zain’s My Little Girl song to hype and allow for happy thoughts and visualisation)

Informed the nurse on duty that we prefer female doctors only for vaginal examinations (VE), which they willingly adhered to alhamdulillah.

3.30am: dilation check – 4cm (my heart sank as 3 hours had gone by and progress was only 1cm. How long more must I endure this gruesome pain ya Rabb.)

The doctor kept asking if I wanted epidural or for my waterbag to be burst as she saw the contractions were getting more intense. We declined both as we wanted the birth to progress as natural as it could – allowing the body to welcome the pain and manage it naturally.

Although a moment later, I did whisper to my husband, “Naudzubillah (but right now), I really want epidural and csect (to just end all the pain.)” May Allah forgive this mere human for wishing such (not that epidural or csect is any less or bad. It is merely my own choice to aim for natural birth).

But I take comfort knowing it’s only human to feel so weak. For Saiyidatina Maryam felt like death too. It was mentioned in the Quran:

And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.”

Surah Maryam, verse 23

Allahuakbar.

We continued to use the essential oil my aunt gave to do deep breathing. Alternately using the gas mask too.

Fuelled ourselves with dates and zamzam water in between.

We also managed to catch some “sleep” here and there and woke up to do breathing together while my husband helped massaged my back during each contraction as a form of counter pressure. It really helped me. No regrets taking birthclass for such helpful tips!

Waking up every 3 mins was super tiring for both of us. Sometimes I would let my husband continue his sleep while I tried to endure the pain alone.

But nearing Fajr, I told him not to leave me. To stay awake. “Abang jangan tidur”

haha sorryyy ya mas.

7.25am: waterbag burst – it was the best feeling ever. That is, until contractions came. But pain was progress 🙂

We contemplated if we needed to inform the nurse of this progress. Thankfully we did. One of them quickly checked my dilation amidst the chaos (me) and seconds later, a whole team of midwives rushed in and switched on all the lights. They prepped me up to push.

Wait, what??? I wasn’t ready for this. With Hadif (tak habis2 ku compare2), it took me 12 hours after the waterbag burst before I was 10cm.

Another surge of contractions came and I sat up, grabbed my husband so tightly while breathing in his scent. I was no longer myself. I forgot about the gas mask and the essential oil. I was just…grasping for air.

The midwife instructed me to hold onto my thighs and push “like you want to berak”

Wait what???? Who passes motion on their backs and thighs up like that?

The leader (I assumed) of the midwives sounded like an instructor. But I’m thankful for her stern and loud voice which glossed over my crazy thoughts and sleep deprived mind.

When I pushed, I closed my eyes and everything went black. But the pain, the pain pushed me forward to continue pushing (banyaknya push) because I was so ready for all of it to be over.

Nothing, nothing beats the crowning of the baby’s head.

So glad I had a commentator too, haha kk, my doula cheerleader husband gave me real time updates such as – “I can see baby’s hair!” Which really gave me hope and strength.

7.40am: alhamdulillah baby was safely delivered.

I heard her cry, and thought to myself that everything was worth it. Alhamdulillah.

9.40am: Stitch.

This was a new experience for me as I had to go through surgery for my first delivery. So I was unconscious when they patched me up 2 years ago. This birth experience, I had a smaller tear, alhamdulillah. But that means that they could stitch me up there and then.

The injection to numb the area, the every poke of the needle and pull of the thread down there, was still bearable with the help of doula husband who gave me the gas mask, did breathing with me and talked about everything but the stitching. Alhamdulillah.

10.20am: Managed to do skin to skin + breastfed Afaf – these were also new to me. In contrast, Hadif had to be fed with formula milk as I got wheeled into the operating theatre right after delivery.

Allahuakbar The experience for each child is truly humbling, forever deeply etched in my memory and nothing short of Allah’s mercy and greatness.

Thank you for reading this story. I hope it was beneficial and pray that whatever that happens in our lives, happens for a reason, a good beautiful reason. We can only prepare, but it is Allah who decides. Trust Allah to give and gift us only what’s best for us. Till the next post.

xoxo,

Insyirah