My main intent as I stepped into the house was solely to pray solat jenazah for the deceased. As the Ustaz called upon my mak ngah (dad’s cousin) and her children to give their final kiss on the Allah yarham’s forehead, I saw someone calming down my distant cousin. She was sobbing so hard that her entire body was shaking.
The news of his passing came yesterday night as I was preparing for Iftar. It was quite a nudge as Allah yarham suffered from Gout. A similar condition diagnosed to my dad. Other than sharing the same condition as dad, I wasn’t that perturbed when I heard of his passing as we were quite…distant.
But today, as I saw this young lady sob, tears flowing without pause, it hit home. Instinctively, I avoided my dad’s gaze as teardrops began to fill my eyes.
“Shuush Insyirah. Not now. Not in front of everyone.” (The battle of one’s mind and one’s reflexes
They poured out anyway. It was so bad I had to blow my nose – which didn’t help as it alerted my mum that I was a broken pipe beside her.
This lady, as she sobbed and tried her best to control her tears – I suddenly saw myself in her.
I imagined the day, if Abah went before me, the type of reaction I would endure.
I guess funerals served its purpose. To remind you that you’re next and to appreciate your loved ones more.
After the heartfelt prayers, my heart calmed down and my eyes began to dry. Suddenly, their only son came upfront to share his final words. And I broke down again.
I imagined how he must have felt. To simultaneously carry the sadness within while holding on the torch that was once held by his dad.
I didn’t follow my mum and dad to the cemetery. Instead, I chose to go back and what awaited me was another piece of sad news. This time, the death of my friend’s dad. 😥
Indeed to Him we belong and to Him we shall return.
Allahummaghfirlahum warhamhum wa ‘aafihim wa’fu ‘anhum.
Cukuplah kematian sebagai peringatan….
Diarinsyirah 