because I can’t wrap my mind around
the fact that Halimah (my youngest sister) is about to start secondary 3,
the fact that Majda is starting pre-u 2,
the fact that in 1 week, I’m starting my final, final semester of uni,
the fact that I have 200 days (+/-) left for my #Roadto30
the fact that I have 11 months (+/-) before #HaFmydeen
the fact that it has been 4 wonderful months of #FitFatiha
the fact that I will be leading a class without Arifah by my side 😦
the fact that I’ll be meeting my T1C for 1 more academic year
the fact that I’m not ready to face the working world
the fact that I haven’t started on the manuscript for a story I intend to write
–
2018 has been great. Allahu Akbar wa lillahil hamd ❤
All the blessings in the form of time, abilities, health, opportunities were nothing short of Your Greatness, of Your Mercy, for insignificant me.
The biggest takeaway, I believe, has been about striking while the iron is hot, patience and gratitude.
Whenever I came begging for and to You, You gave me what I needed over my wants. You turned my sadness into worthwhile struggles.
At times, I’m clouded by grieve and stress. At times I would feel at lost for words. I couldn’t express and describe. But knowing that You are All-Hearing, makes me feel calmer, better and happier. Your Words, were my constant go-to for healing. You never, ever, left us alone.
This year, I met and forged meaningful connections. All I asked, was for Your Redha and to never leave me even for a second. When I looked back at how beautiful life was planned out, how every choice was made, I can never express how immensely grateful I feel.
This year, You guided many hearts. I met wonderful people of diverse backgrounds at school, Qudwah, internship, mosque, online and even abroad. But the highlight for me would be the 2 hearts that found each other on that fateful June the 1st. Every step I took from then on were much stronger, with double the purpose because it now affects my newest Project Membina Ummah. For every significant change, begins with the self. I keep thinking of the consequences of my actions and how it’ll severely affect and has affected the life I and my loved ones will live in.
Through all the ups and downs that I’ve been through, I know it’s nothing as to what Rasulullah s.a.w went through. Every single step and struggle, brings a smile as I reflect on it now.
I hope it counts. Every single one of it. It can never match up to how you’ve struggled for this noble cause. But dear kekasih Allah, I’m trying. Dear Allah, I’m trying.
My wish, hope and prayer is still the same as how I started 2018. I want Your blessings, Your Redha. Please guide me and the ummah to anything and everything that will bring Your blessings ❤ come 2019. We may not be ready, but we will try. Bismillah.
Diarinsyirah 