Disclaimer: These are of my personal views and observations are based on a number of weddings. Thus it does not necessarily reflect the latest wedding I was involved in.
So someone is wide awake now after a short lepak nap. It’s alarming how I am slowly turning into a nocturnal. Really, really need to change this pronto as I have 2 morning exams coming up! ><
Anyway, since I can’t sleep, I thought it’d be a good time to reflect on certain things that I observed in general but the past 2 days have urged me to pen it down.
On being a bridesmaid
Leverage on people’s skills – One of the key things I noticed and hope to remember is how we choose who to take charge of what. Hands down, we need all the help we can get and a diverse pool of people to help us out during the event (especially a wedding!) is such a blessing. On day 1, I was the only bridesmaid on duty and boy was it awkward. The acting during NILA didn’t prepare me to be taking such bold steps. By bold I’m referring to proactively going up front to hold the bride’s overflowing dress, gave her tissue, made her look nice (as the mak andam went off already) and of course to take some shots and do a live video of the solemnisation. I even got some tips from the camera man and had to be part of the video where I “delivered” the ring to the bride for her to put it on her husband. Lol. Totally not me and out of my comfort zone~
So today was better as I could safely retreat back into my cosy shell because apparently out of the 4 of us, 2 bridesmaids were outspoken and on the ball – instinctively able to cater to the needs of the bride while another lady and I hold the fort at the background.
That being so, as event organisers, (beyond just weddings) we need to choose and delegate jobs accordingly. But on the other spectrum, always be ready to take up roles and fill up gaps. There’s always something to learn from each experience! 🙂
Living in the moment – I guess being able to observe behind the scenes of a wedding allows one to rethink of how they’d like their own wedding to be like. The bridesmaids’ main topic would revolve around the couple’s needs, the guests and of course our own dream wedding! (haha please give chance to sis. What else do you do during free periods righttt)
It’s interesting to learn how a certain type of person would craft their ideal version of a wedding. One of the many things we stressed upon each other was the whole idea of professional photographers and/or videographers. I believe it’s a norm these days to have BOTH. Well at least that is what I noticed and what people have already told me to consider. We established the fact that pictures especially those of great quality are great keepsakes. But we had different opinions on the degree of investment on this part of the wedding, i.e how much and to what extent would one want to invest on professional photographers? I resonate well when one of them preferred friends/family to capture the moments (bonus if they are already professionals) as we would rather spend on our own relatives than strangers heheh. (Not cheap ok!)
Also, professional photographers can get a bit too demanding!
I really felt sad for the makcik pakcik who were so eager to take pictures but were stopped, a tiny bit rudely if I may add, by the professionals as they wanted to take different angles of the bride and groom or to take certain videos. I also pity the couple who had to reenact scenes just to satisfy these people who dictates what constitutes a good shot. Aren’t natural moments the best moments?
While I see the merits of choreographed poses and certain orders which undoubtedly gives the much needed colour and direction (it would be hectic otherwise!) to these captured moments, I think one shouldn’t dismiss these relatives or the wellbeing of the couple. I mean, if they enjoy directed (awkward) poses, then by all means! 🙂
I didn’t pay much attention to this aspect of the wedding prior to this experience. But such a good reminder for myself to live in the moment rather than acting out the moments (reminds me of the times I retake my IG stories so that it would be okay for public to watch. Meh.). Above all, I find some photographers too forceful in making the couple look intimate. Intimate in a public setting is so not me~ I’d prefer for us to take our time to warm up. Culture shock nanti~ haha.
Okay okay, but kudos to photographers who still acknowledged the boundaries and did not even dare touch my beautiful bride when there was something amiss (like a confetti on her head, or to straighten her veil etc.) Thus this is another point to take note, I would prefer a lady photographer or back to square one, a family member.
On a totally unrelated matter, I believe some guys are so annoying? I was carrying this pile of clothing and unlike annoying specimen A, another person proactively helped me carry the heavy outfit. I was shocked when specimen A said that I was being a free loader. The things people say! And what was that for anyway? But I guess it is the person’s habit as he went on to comment on another person. >< Thank you Allah for making me see how I would probably look like and how people might feel if I do not filter my words through the gates of kindness, truthfulness and worthiness. Always check whether whatever we say is kind, true and must it be mentioned at all?
Alhamdulillah! #Bridemaidduty day 2 done! One more day~ Bismillah 🙂
Diarinsyirah 