Learning about how Islam came about and evolved in South Asia made me rethink about so many practices. It made me softer (who are we to condemn people?) and ever thankful that it isn’t that bad back home.
However, kalau canggah tetap canggah. Islam is all about belief, action and intent. (Iman, Islam, Ihsan)
It’s so hard. and often a time I feel helpless at striking a balance and I feel lost in trying to find you ya Rabb. Reminds me of the scene where Ustaz Adam (Munafik 2) cried his heart out because he found it hard to remain consistent. And even if he was, he still felt skeptical as to whether he was on the right path.
With so many contesting thoughts and views on which is the right way, it can get quite overwhelming.
Islam is not merely about legalities and rules, halal and haram. On the other hand, we are not a religion that has no structure. We do not accept a free manifestation of the love for Allah. It is alarming when there are views accepting monotheism but free in practice – as long as one reaches God and claiming all religions to be the same.
Recently, I crossed paths with a fellow schoolmate who is questioning her faith in Islam. I encouraged her to keep seeking because since young, she grew to experience how Islamic teachings does not mirror the reality she faces everyday. When another religion offers you and interacts with you with so much kindness as compared to the supposed religion of truth, wouldn’t you be confused too?
Another classmate asked about my personal stand on salafism, sufism and all other isms (the readings for the past 2 weeks were about sufism and traditionalist Islam). Told them that I love sufism’s concept of tazkiyatun nafs (cleansing of the heart) and salafism’s strict conduct with regards to theology (aqidah). I am not a fan of going to graves to seek blessings. Told them that there’s so much to learn still and that I would rather focus on what is said in both Quran and Sunnah. Hence, I rather not label myself as any of the isms. Can I just be a striving muslim? huhu.
But I do find it interesting how I suddenly became lively in class (haha finally eh) and started to remember all them STE notes when Prof asked what is Shi’a, ahmediya and so on.
*Deep breaths*
One has got to strike a balance between the heart and mind. Between rulings and humanity. And when to put our feet down when discussing context?
May Allah guide us and give us the strength to keep finding the truth and abide by it aameen!
Diarinsyirah 